Welcome to Week 6 of Term 4. We have had quite a bit happening at school in the last week. One of the highlights for many was the Colour Fun Run. A big thanks must go to Mrs Isaac and her team for all the behind-the-scenes work to make things happen.

Our Junior Primary students and some of our older students have been working on special items and projects for our PPN Carols program that we were planning for this Friday. By now, you will have received an SMS and an email saying we have had to postpone the Carols program by one week to Friday, December 1. I am so sorry if this has caused inconvenience or challenges to your family’s plans. I know many of you will have other things organised and have been making arrangements for this week. Please know this is not something we have taken lightly. We spent time in discussions with the forecasters at the Bureau of Meteorology to determine what weather was likely and how that might effect our plans. Finally, we concluded that it would likely not be either enjoyable or safe for our children, staff and families. We are really looking forward to this event and the celebration as a community, and we also want our children to share all their hard work and practice with you,  so we plan to run it next week instead.

As we move towards the end of one year and into the next, there are changes our children will experience at school. They will be assigned new teachers in new classrooms and, for some of our students, even new schools. Below is an article written by a psychologist who came and shared with our teachers in the middle of the year. There are some really good points for us to think about and work through with our children as they move through school, and change classes and teachers. I hope you find it helpful.

“As the school year draws to a close, a sense of uncertainty is in the air, and families are turning their attention to leaving the knowns of 2023 behind as they head towards the unknowns of 2024.

Humans crave certainty. Change often feels unnerving - especially when the change and uncertainty relates to your child. If you’re worried about your child’s class placement in 2024, you’re not alone.

It’s perfectly natural to have a preference for a particular teacher and peer group, and normal to feel worried or disappointed if they don’t get them.

A child’s emotional adjustment to leaving this year’s teacher and classmates while preparing for next year’s teacher and classmates can be heavily impacted by your feelings about it.

As parents, we have the power to set the tone. Our optimism or pessimism is contagious.

Here are some ways you can help make the transition smoother for your child if you or they didn’t get the news you were hoping for.

• Listen calmly. Hear out your child’s feelings. Let them get it all out and listen quietly. Avoid trying to ‘fix’ their feelings by adding your own feelings, judgements and solutions. Feelings need to be expressed, processed and moved through constructively.

Children don’t have to be immediately excited about their teacher to learn from that teacher in the long run. The same goes for classmates. They don’t have to have existing bonds or common interests to build them in the future. In fact, the more children they get to know with a broad range of personalities, the better for their growing social intelligence.

The feelings you see in that initial moment aren’t necessarily reflective of how they will feel long term - especially if you don’t react with them.

Humans need time to process change. When news is fresh, we can go through many feelings of resistance and uncertainty. That doesn’t mean that what’s coming is necessarily bad. You can warmly and gently say something like, ‘You really hoped for XYZ, and you’re disappointed. I understand.’ Allow time for them to process your words of support. Don’t rush them. Try to avoid talking while their logical brain is still compromised because emotions are still high. Listening calmly and quietly is golden.

• Support your child to build a connection with their new teacher. A mutually respectful connection with their teacher matters. Notice positive qualities in their teachers and see what your child might have in common with them.

• Avoid looking uncertain about the placement in front of your child. If they are unsure, they will naturally look to you to help them feel confident and calm. This doesn’t mean you have to ‘fake’ being excited if you’re not (they’ll see through that), but it does mean you do your best to be cool, calm and collected. If you can’t be hopeful (yet), try and be neutral. Children tend to use parents as an emotional compass when they experience uncomfortable feelings. If you’re struggling, express your feelings with another adult to get things off your chest. Work out what you’re worried about. Try and notice as many things that are good about what’s ahead.

• Before you greet them on the day they receive their placement, remind yourself to try and trust the process. There are multiple layers to how class placements are allocated that couldn’t possibly be explained completely. School leaders and staff put in huge amounts of thought into student personalities, learning styles, teaching styles, class size, who asked to have who in their class and much more that is happening behind the scenes we’re not aware of.

Schools genuinely do their best with this decision. If you’re upset, it’s possible they are too, but when weighing everything up, they had no other direction to turn. Supporting your child’s teachers and school is a crucial part of your child’s psychological and academic success there.

Your reaction to next year’s teacher news is hugely important to your child. Your confidence, hopefulness and regulated emotion are crucial. If you’re not happy, try to keep these feelings in the background and discuss them privately with another adult. Children are too young to take on their parent’s worries.

If there is a genuine problem, take logical action without involving your child in the stress associated with it.

Your child’s emotional connection to and respect for their teacher and school is deeply connected with your connection to and respect for their teacher and school.

More things to keep in mind:

Children learn, grow and strengthen in resilience by being with a broad range of personalities and communication styles. When things are unrealistically perfect and easy, they can get stuck in their comfort zone.

To build confidence for later on in life, you need to experience a broad range of peers and situations and discover that through talking about feelings, asking for help, establishing boundaries and building your social-emotional skills, you can handle a lot of what life has in store. Be there to hear their thoughts and feelings out, but above all, show you have confidence in your child to get through.

If situations are dangerous, toxic or damaging to your child’s learning and psychological health, always talk to school staff and, if necessary, other experts to ask for and seek help. Seek out the support of a health professional, too, if necessary.

On the surface, do your best as your child’s most important adult and leader to show your confidence that your child will be safe and cared for, always.

Do something heartwarming and compassionate for yourself. If you’re upset and stressed, it’s not because you’re weak or incapable. It’s because our children hold our hearts, and when they hurt, we hurt. You need to look after yourself first and foremost.

The advice above is general and based on general child development, resilience and confidence research. It is written with the very best intention to help you. Without knowing your individual circumstances, it’s not intended to replace your expertise as a parent or the expertise of educators and health professionals. Always seek tailored expert advice if you feel your child’s physical or psychological health is at risk in any way.' (Nawana Parker, 2023)

Have a great week with our kids,

Mark B

Hey PPN Family,

According to a quick Google search, the phrase BFF (Best friends forever) has been around since the 1980’s but it was popularised by the character Phoebe in an episode of Friends back in 1997. I first heard the term BFF when I was a High School chaplain in 2007. I still remember two students coming into my office and excitedly telling me that they were BFF’s, and then explaining to me what it meant. You can imagine my surprise when only a week or so later, one of these students came into my office in tears telling me how much she hated her now former BFF.

It was then that I realised that sometimes BFF just stands for “Best Friends For-a-week.”

As I reflect on how BFF’s can sometimes let us down, I am reminded of why Jesus is the ultimate BFF. Jesus calls us to make the world better with Him (Matthew 28:18-20), He promises to help us with our burdens and stresses in life (Matthew 11:28-30), and He also gives us loving correction when we need it (Matthew 16:23-25).

But the most important reason why Jesus is the greatest BFF is because He loves us and sacrificed His own life so that we may have eternal life through Him. Jesus summed it up best Himself in John 15:13 when He said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

So, as we near the Christmas Season may we remember that Jesus wants to be our Best Friend Forever. And believe me when I say that you cannot find a better BFF than Him.

God bless,

Roland Talamaivao-Amituanai

Safe bodies, safe places, safe kids

As parents our children’s safety is always on our minds. As they explore the world around them there is the chance they will come across people or places that make them feel uncomfortable. Some of these may end up being unsafe.

It is important that we have conversations with our children that equip them with the confidence and skills they need to avoid and report on situations that make them feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

It’s OK to say ‘no’

It’s important that our children understand that’s ok to say no to unwanted touch or activity - even if that person has been nice to them.

It’s OK for your child to say ‘No!’ if someone:

• touches them
• asks them to do something that feels unsafe, scary or confusing
• does something that makes them want to get away
• is threatening, bribing or blackmailing them
• has tricked them into an unsafe situation.

It’s also important for children to accept it when other people say ‘no’ to them.

Listening to our body's warning signs

Children’s bodies give them warning signs when something is wrong or they don’t feel safe. These signs can happen in many unsafe situations. You can protect your children by helping them recognise and use words for these warning signs.

For example, you might say, ‘When you feel unsafe you might feel funny in the tummy, your heart might beat fast, or your body might feel hot, shaky or wobbly’.

It’s OK and important for children to act on these warning signs. For example, you could say, ‘If you’re with someone and have these feelings, it’s OK to go somewhere else and be with someone else so you feel safe. It’s also important to tell me about how you felt, so I can help you stay safe’.

It’s good to talk with your child about who to go to when they feel unsafe. Together you can identify trusted family and friends or police and teachers. Remind your child that if someone doesn’t believe them, it’s important to keep telling people until someone listens and helps them feel safe.

Keeping our bodies safe

Your child or the child you’re caring for needs to know that their body is their own. When your child understands this, they can also understand that it’s wrong for other people to touch their body, ask to see their body, or take photos or videos of their body.

You might say something like, ‘Your body belongs to you. No-one can touch or see your body without a good reason. If a grown up or older child wants to touch you that’s not OK. Even if it’s someone you know, it’s still not OK. You should tell me straight away, even if they ask you to keep it a secret’.

Let your child know about ‘good reasons’. For example, ‘A doctor or nurse might ask to see your body. That’s a good reason, but only if I’m there too’.

Suprises and unsafe secrets

You can help your child or the child you’re caring for stay safe by helping them understand the difference between surprises and unsafe secrets.

Here’s how you could explain the difference:

• Surprises: ‘Surprises are good, like when Nanna tells you what she’s getting your sister for her birthday. This is a surprise for your sister. You might feel excited but not yucky about the surprise.’
• Unsafe secrets: ‘Some secrets might make you feel worried, like if a friend tells you that they’re going to take something that doesn’t belong to them. These sorts of secrets can make people feel unhappy and yucky. You need to tell me or another adult you trust. We can decide how to help you with the yucky feelings.’

Safe and unsafe places

It’s a good idea to talk with your child or the child you’re caring for about what makes places and situations safe or less safe.

Younger children can’t always recognise safe and unsafe places, so it’s best to talk about how different places make them feel. You could ask your child, ‘Where do you feel happy and know that you’ll be safe? What does it look like? Who is there? Why does it make you feel safe?’

You can explain the difference in this way:

• Safe places: ‘A safe place is where there are a lot of people around and you know people. In a safe place, you might feel calm or happy.’
• Unsafe places: ‘An unsafe place is where you can’t see other people around who could help you.’

It can also help to talk with your child about what to do in unsafe situations and practise what they’d do and say. For example:

• ‘What would you do if I wasn’t at school at pick-up time?’
• ‘What would you do if someone you didn’t know wanted you to help them look for their dog?’
• ‘What would you do if you felt uncomfortable in a public toilet?’
• ‘What would you do if an adult or another child you knew and liked did something that made you feel yucky or scared?’
• ‘What would you do if someone you didn’t know started messaging you on social media, even if they said they were a child?’
• ‘What would you do if someone touched your body in a way that you didn’t think was OK?’

OSHC School Holidays