I am currently reading a book called “Social”, by Matthew Liebermann, a research psychologist. It’s an interesting book about how our need to be able to connect with other people is as strong as, and even more basic, than our need for food or shelter.

This is a big claim, but he uses scientific exploration in neuroscience to investigate social pain and how that can shape behaviour. The need to connect is also evident in our children and they experience strong desires to be able to be part of social groups.

Author Brene Brown takes this idea in her book, Atlas of the Heart which was released recently, and applies it to the idea of the differences between “fitting in” and “belonging”. When asked about this in an interview on the US version of Today, Brown explained it this way, “The thing is that we are wired to be a part of something bigger than us so deeply, that sometimes we will take fitting in as a substitute, but actually fitting in is the greatest barrier to belonging because fitting in says, ‘Be like them to be accepted.’ Belonging says, ‘This is who I am. I hope we can make a connection” (Brown 2021)

True connection with others brings a sense of belonging. Building connection then, becomes very important for our children’s wellbeing and resilience, particularly as we prepare them for teenagehood and adulthood. Below is an article about helping our kids develop connection and belonging. I hope you find it helpful.

Studies have shown a positive sense of school belonging among adolescents can increase life satisfaction, self-confidence, well-being, and other positive emotions. The lack of a sense of belonging can contribute to higher levels of anxiety, depression, stress, and overall negative feelings. Critically, a strong sense of belonging at school can be a protective factor for mental health, reducing the likelihood of mental illness well into adulthood.“Though there have been a few positive effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, the loss of traditional school routines has not been one of them. Lockdowns and remote learning over the past couple of years contributed heavily to a decline in physical school connection, but the continued experience of often unpredictable isolation periods continues to challenge a sense of belonging for many students.

Among the many variables found to help build a student’s sense of belonging, there are three key relationships: teachers, parents, and peers; and parents can have a role in safe-guarding all three.

Student-teacher relationship

It is well-known that a positive student-teacher relationship is essential for fostering a sense of belonging at school. When teachers provide academic and personal support to students and show they care for them, they can promote a sense of belonging in their students. It may be no surprise that teachers who are approachable, likeable, and have a sense of belonging to the school themselves are teachers who are more likely to grow or maintain a sense of belonging for students as well.

Whether in-person or online, school staff can positively impact students’ sense of belonging and connection. In fact, students emphasise that the same strategies that help their belonging face-to-face are also helpful online. Each interaction is a chance to build relationships with students, reach out, and identify potential vulnerabilities in belonging and school connection. Young people want to be noticed and known by their teachers.

Parents can help the student-teacher relationship by keeping communication channels open, attending school events that might allow opportunities to meet teachers, and encouraging their children to ask their teachers for help when needed. Parents could reflect on their own school experiences, share information about their favourite teachers when at school, and help their children identify a teacher’s positive aspects, especially for those teachers their child is struggling to build rapport with.

Student-parent relationship

We know from research that different parenting styles significantly impact how a young person copes with stress and perhaps even grows from the experience. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many parents reported spending more time with their kids but we also saw increased mental health problems and experiences of stress among many adolescents.

Parents who can easily recognise and work with children’s inherent strengths and abilities are more likely to have children who are better equipped to manage their emotions and cope with challenges.

Parents can use a strength-based approach to build school belonging in their children by:

Identifying their children’s strengths

Teaching their children to be able to harness their strengths within their learning contexts, particularly when challenges and stress arise

Showing an interest and support for their child’s learning

Having expectations and trust that your child can meet their goals at school

Strength-based parenting is one of the most recommended and effective ways to maintain or rebuild child-parent relationships by supporting and nurturing children’s character strengths.

Peer relationships

Many large-group and extracurricular activities were eliminated due to COVID-19 restrictions, thus preventing students from forming positive relationships with their classmates. And remote learning and online groups, despite some benefits, did not have the same scope of effectiveness as face-to-face interactions for many students. This may have impact student’s social identity, but also important connections for social support.

Many young people, following COVID-19, have identified that they want help making connections with peers and friends.

Parents can organise “play” dates (outdoor or virtual) and facilitate interactions through helping their children find opportunities to mix with others and build friendships. Parents might have a role in helping to break the ice with other kids or helping their kids to initiate the first steps to reconnecting.

Other strategies that build belonging

Recognise that some children may have a slower pace in reconnecting.

This past year, some children and young people experienced a wide range of experiences. Reconnecting can take time.

Be a role model

Endeavour to maintain your own social needs and connections. Was there a hobby or group you dropped during lockdown? What can you do to make sure you are feeling a sense of belonging as well?

In closing

Taken together, the most important messages to remember are that belonging is important, it can take time to grow, and the relationships your child builds through school are key to them building a sense of belonging.” (Allen, 2022)

Have a great week with your kids,

Mark B

 Click here to view a quick tip video by Dr Justin Coulson related to this article

Discipline vs Punishment

I’ll admit, that one of the most difficult aspects of parenting is dealing with the poor choices our children make in regards to the things they say or do (or, maybe don’t do…)

Often we find ourselves thinking back to our response and wondering, ‘Did I handle that ok? Did what I said and did make things better, or simply make me feel better?’

I recently read an article by one of my favourite child and family-focused psychologists, Dr Justin Coulson. In response to a parent’s question regarding discipline he writes:

‘One of the things I emphasise time and again is that discipline is instruction, teaching, and guiding. Punishment, on the other hand, means “to inflict a penalty”, or “to subject to pain, loss, confinement, death, etc as a penalty for some offense, transgression, or fault.” And consequences? Well, the dictionary says they are “the result of something occurring earlier".'

This is a powerful and challenging concept to grasp as parents. Fortunately, Dr Coulson outlines a three-step approach to tackling discipline from a teaching and guiding lens called The Three E's:

Explain – Under normal circumstances, the best approach is to stay calm and kind, and then explain what behaviour, or change you’re after and why. We get the best results when we actually provide a reason for what we’re asking.

Explore – Ask your child to tell you what occurred and why it happened from their perspective. Don’t ask for answers that you already know – just explain the things you already have knowledge of. By the time you have explained and explored, everyone should be feeling understood. At this point, we empower.

Empower – Give your child a chance to think of appropriate ‘next steps’. When they share "dumb" ideas, ask for more ideas or for explanations. Problem-solve. If they get stuck, tell them to go and have a think and come back to you when they’re ready. We want our kids to come up with the way forward. They do so much better when we get them engaged in the process.

To learn more about The Three E’s, and what to do if the problem keeps happening, I would encourage you to read the full article by clicking here.

Did you miss it? Don’t miss out.

If you missed last night’s Little People, Big Feelings webinar, it’s not too late. For the next 7 days you can access a recording of the program absolutely FREE.

In under a hour you’ll learn:
• The things parents say to their kids to make things better... but actually make things worse.
• The four key reasons our children have such big outbursts and tantrums.
• A roadmap to staying calm under pressure.
• Cutting-edge parenting strategies to guide your children through their worst moments and back to calm.

>>>> Watch online now <<<<

Welcome Miss Watson

Prescott Primary Northern would like to welcome Miss Zoey-Elise Watson to our school family. Miss Watson is from Avondale University and is completing her final year placement at PPN with Mrs Frear in Year 3B. We look forward to getting to know her over her 8 weeks of placement at our school. Thank you, Miss Watson, for joining us and blessing our Year 3B team.

Hands-on learning in Foundation

Uniform Shop

All colours of library bags are available again.  Orders can be made via Flexischools.

Speech Therapy Sessions at School

Gumboots At School

We are absolutely loving our Nature Play Space at school. This is a popular space at both recess and lunch times, as well as some outdoor learning lessons taking place in this area.

One of the most popular sections of our Nature Play is our giant sandpit and water pump. The creativity and problem-solving displayed here is amazing. We love seeing the children work together to create tunnels, dams and castles.

We have noticed that some of our children who regularly play in the sandpit and with the water pump are having difficulty keeping their shoes looking presentable. Instead of discouraging the sandy, wet play, or asking our families to buy new shoes on a more regular basis, we are allowing our students to bring their own pair of gumboots to school to be worn when playing in the sand pit and with the water.

The gumboots cannot be worn in place of school shoes in any other activity other than sandpit, mud kitchen, and water (eg. if playing soccer or climbing on the log scramble they need to wear their normal school shoes).

Classrooms will have a designated area to store these gumboots if you wish to send along named gumboots to stay at school.

Gumboots can be purchased from places such as Kmart, Big W or Target, ranging from $8 - $20.

Parents Back On Campus

Daily Health Check

Do's & Dont's of Dropping Your Kids to School