Principal's Remarks
Another week of school is marching through, and after talking with family involved in schooling in Victoria, I am so grateful our children can continue to learn together in class with their friends. We have certainly been very fortunate in this state. You may notice over the coming weeks that we are continuing to work to develop resources and learning activities that will assist should we be required to return to at-home learning. Our Foundations and Year 1s are working on implementing a platform called Seesaw to enable easier communication and sharing of learning activities and experiences, while our Year 2s to 6s are continuing to develop skills using Microsoft Teams. Our staff are endeavouring to do this as a part of the everyday learning process. We are keen to ensure we are equipped to continue to provide excellent education to our students and families should we be forced to at-home learning. A big thank you to our staff for going the extra mile for our children’s learning.
I shared an article recently about the importance of traditions in our family and school life and how that these activities can bring about a consistency and security in a rapidly changing world like the one we are experiencing right now. In chatting with some parents, they have mentioned the challenges of building resentment in their kids by enforcing traditions on their children. I get that. I have been a deputy principal in a high school setting and experienced firsthand the resentment and, at times, burning hatred some teenagers express towards activities they perceive are cutting across their personal space and growth. However, I don’t think we should avoid involving reluctant children and adolescents in traditions because they don’t want to be. While flexibility is a key ingredient in guiding our children, so is the security that traditions and routines can bring. Loving, firm, caring, consistent, gentle, persistent direction is vital if we are to provide strong support and guidance as parents and educators. I read this article that gives some further ideas around walking the path between direction and flexibility. I hope you find it a practical help in our important work.
“Strong families develop their own traditions and rituals that define them and bind members together. They are the coat hooks upon which we hang our family memories. By definition, they are permanent and not set aside when life gets busy. They also link young people to their childhoods at a stage when everything around them is changing.
Develop traditions early
Family traditions are relatively easy to develop when children are pre-school or primary school aged. Parent approval is important to most children, so they will generally fit with family traditions and rituals that they enjoy and provide a relaxed, calm atmosphere.
Young people can challenge family traditions
Adolescents are likely to challenge many of their family’s traditions and rituals, which is often difficult for parents to encounter. Questions about, or even defiance towards the way you act as a family can come suddenly and be a shock to parents. On one hand, you know that your young person’s challenge is healthy and part of their search for identity separate from their parents. On the other hand, to discover that the child you brought up to respect family and even cultural traditions and rituals no longer wants to follow the family or cultural line can really sting.
Know the traditions that are negotiable
If part of the healthy development of young people means stepping away, albeit, temporarily, from their family it helps to establish those traditions that are negotiable and those that are non-negotiable. For example, if family birthdays are important then your young person may no longer need to attend their aunt’s birthday but they need to attend the birthday celebration of their immediate family members. “This is non-negotiable!” should become part of your family’s proprietary language.
Give young people some leeway
Giving your young person some leeway in family activities is recognition that they are growing up, but this shouldn’t be confused with growing away. Recent studies reveal that young people value being part of supportive family, but they want their family life to accommodate their burgeoning independence.
Make family meals non-negotiable
This writer recommends that shared mealtimes should be non-negotiable in families. There is a correlation between good mental health in young people and those families that share a meal at least five times a week. A young person can too easily drop out of their family unless there is a tradition or ritual that keeps them connected.
Healthy families are built around traditions and rituals. It’s useful to approach the concept of family traditions with a mix of flexibility to accommodate a young person wish for more independence and firmness to hold the line on those rituals that are essential to your family’s identity and your young person’s wellbeing.” (Grose, 2020)
Have a great week with your kids,
Mark B
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “These words I am commanding you today must be kept in mind, and you must teach them to your children and speak of them as you sit in your house, as you walk along the road, as you lie down, and as you get up.”