Principal's Remarks
I spoke with my dad, as usual, this week. He is in his 80s and lives in a retirement village in Queensland. We chatted about the usual family things, and as we were talking, he said to me. "We were able to have our first morning tea get together with a small group yesterday. It was great to sit down and chat with people." He, and millions of others, have been avoiding catching up in these times of social distancing, and it was interesting to hear how much he had missed it. I wrote a little in last week's remarks about being stronger together. This week, I wanted to share a little more of what I have learned recently about the importance of social connection. I have been reading some of the work of a former professor of Neuroscience at Chicago University, John Cacioppo. Cacioppo writes, ". . . social neuroscience has witnessed an incredible rise in the number of studies demonstrating the effects of perceived social isolation (e.g., loneliness, ostracism), and inversely, the beneficial effects of social bonding (e.g., love, desire, attachment) on social perception, cognition, and behavior and on mental and physical health." (2012) He explains this even further in another place when he says the effects of people not feeling socially connected has physical health implications similar to obesity, high blood pressure or smoking. Cacioppo's research has also found social connection to be important in the cognitive and behavioural development of human beings. As a parent and educator, this particularly captured my attention. Our children (and we adults as well) need social connectedness to be able to develop, grow and mature into mentally and behaviourally balanced adults. Cacioppo points out that not every person has the same needs as far as time spent connecting or number of social connections, but we all require social connectedness to a degree.
How do we encourage this sense of connectedness and belonging in our children? In an interview John Cacioppo began to answer this. During an interaction with the interviewer, he said, "If I ask you to think of the traits of a person who is evil, what are the three words you think of? Uncaring. Cold. Calculating. Give me three traits of a good person. Kind, generous, empathetic. OK. So actually your answers are consistent across age and across culture. What you see about them is that the good person cares about themselves primarily in relation to other people. Whereas the evil person cares first and only about themselves." (2016) Having our children learn the values that emphasise the value of each person and the importance of caring and compassion and love for others, begins to help create the connectedness, community and belonging that we know gives the foundation for our children to be resilient and truly successful.
Connect away, I say.
Have a great week socially connecting with your kids,
Mark B