I remember, many years ago, going to one of my wife’s family reunions. As we walked in, they asked your name and then wrote it in a big badge and pinned it to you. It was a reunion for the Johnson family and as I wandered around with a big Borresen badge on, it became increasingly apparent that there were no other Borresens there. It was great to get to know everyone, but my badge sort of shouted that I didn’t really belong. I eventually figured out that my belonging at the reunion was linked to the people I was connected to that were a part of it and not a badge that was placed on me. There are all sorts of life lessons I drew from this, but the main one is how important it is that we belong.

Belonging can be defined as “ … acceptance as a member or part” (Hall, 2014), and it is such an important part of good emotional health, especially when we face emotional challenges. Developing a sense of belonging in our children is a crucial part of our role as parents and educators. Having a child feel and know they are connected with their family, with their cultural heritage, with their church, with their friends, with their school, is core to what we do. Sadly, we sometimes see people attempting to achieve this through excluding various groups or individuals so that a sense of belonging can be created for those who are part of the “in group”.

I read an article recently that offered two ways for us to think about building belonging in our lives and the lives of our children. The first suggestion to help build belonging is “ …to look for ways you are similar with others instead of focusing on ways you are different.” (Hall, 2014) Common and shared experiences provide a great way build opportunity for appreciating similarities rather than differences. I hope that your mind is going right now to thinking of ways you can create experiences for your children that feed connections that can create belonging.

A second “. . . way to build your own sense of belonging is to work on acceptance of others. To accept others and views that are not the same as yours may require that you open your thoughts to the idea that there is value in everyone's thinking.”  (Hall, 2014) This way of thinking is the complete opposite of the exclusion method and takes the approach of inherently valuing everyone. It doesn’t mean we agree with everything the other person says or does, it means we value them, and that creates connection and belonging.

It’s an interesting, and complex thing we are trying to do here for our children. On the one hand, we want them to know and understand what incredible individuals they are, but at the same time, teach them that it is vital they understand the importance of including, accepting and being connected to others. Whether that be in their home, their school, their local community, their nation or the global community. Creating community and belonging is something we try very hard to do at Prescott Primary Northern and I saw a little of it at the Pancake Breakfast on Monday morning – it was great to see so many of you there.

I’m not sure there are too many better things I have heard in all my life than what I heard recently when one of daughters said to someone, “He belongs to me”.  The depth of that has not been lost on me. It reminds me of what God has said of us also in Isaiah 43:1, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you [ransomed you by paying a price instead of leaving you captives]; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.” (Amplified Bible)

Have a great week of belonging with your kids,

Mark B