Principal's Remarks
Week 6 of the last term of 2019 is marching through and there is still a lot happening around school in our classrooms, in the PE field and on our building sites, and of course we have the Lower Primary Parent and Special Person’s Christmas Concerts coming up next week which are always highlights.
Our New Pick Up and Drop Off Zone is really working well. We would love to have more families using this area as it is much safer than having people walk across traffic to get in to school and IT’S REALLY FAST! Please give it a try. I have had many families say how much more convenient and safer it is.
Have you ever sat around with a group of fellow parents and discussed what are the most important components of parenting? Things like, showing our kids unconditional love, teaching them responsibility, being consistent, modelling the behaviour we expect, showing them that there are consequences, showing them how to deal with failure and set backs, teaching them what is of true importance, teaching them to treat others as they expect to be treated, usually come up in those discussions. I read an article recently that presented another perspective that I thought worthy of consideration. I hope you enjoy.
“At a time when the mental health and wellbeing of children and teenagers is firmly in the spotlight, validation is an essential parenting skill.
When a child or teen comes to you when they are struggling emotionally, they want you to understand their dilemma. They don’t want to be dismissed or told to ‘get over it’. They generally want someone to acknowledge that their concern is real with comments such as:
“I see you’re worried about going to camp. I can understand that. “
“Thanks for telling about the scary monsters in your bedroom. Let’s see what we can do about them.”
“I’d be afraid too if I was left alone on my own for that long.”
Validating a child’s struggles helps in a number of ways. It works to:
Build deep connection
Relationships built at the time of vulnerability go deep and are hard to break.
Promote a child’s wellbeing
Validation helps kids feel safe, which is what ‘worry warts’ and anxious kids want. Lack of understanding rather than fear itself often impacts negatively on a child’s happiness.
Overcome disappointment and build resilience
Validation encourages kids to give voice to their concern or disappointment and either takes steps to rectify it or move on.
Develop emotional intelligence
Parental validation models emotion
l intelligence for children and teens. It requires you to identify the emotions that may be behind their language or behaviour.
Encourage empathy
Validation requires you to stop, listen and get on the same wavelength as your child.
Four steps to validating your child’s emotions
Follow these steps when your child comes to you with their worries or concerns to make sure they feel understood.
Attend -Stop what you are doing and give your child full attention.
Observe - Listen with your eyes as well as your ears.
Reflect back their worries - Get down to their eye level if necessary, saying something like, “I see you’re really concerned about this.”
hem a hug when you speak to them. This will help them feel safe and comforted.
There’s no better feeling for a child or teen who is struggling than knowing someone they value truly understands them.” (Grose, 2020)
Have a great week with your kids,
Mark B