I was reading an interesting article the other day by Dr Arne Rubenstein, former Australian of the year, about the value and importance of rites of passage in the lives of our children and young people in the 21^st century. It really provoked my thinking. As we have moved into the 2000s, we have definitely seen some huge changes in the way we live our lives, the standards of living, technological advancements, employment arrangements and very importantly, family life. I look back at growing up in the last part of last century and remember things like Pathfinders/Scouts/Girl Guides, which had these structures and steps in place that we made our way through that gave structured indicators/rites of passage as we moved through childhood and adolescence. Other parts of society like sporting clubs, volunteer organisations and church life did similar things. With society’s involvement in many of these things declining, I think it important we provide these indicators for our children and that they are maturing and growing and we recognise this. I think it is all the more important as we, as a society, blurr the lines between adult behaviour and child behaviour. By this I mean things like allowing our children access to technology, information and experiences that we have, in the past, reserved for those who are a little bit older or more mature. I am not talking about hiding our children away from everything, but I observe that young people now have access to many more confronting, complicated and confusing experiences than I did as I grew up.

I think it is important that we create childhoods for our children and steps along the way that indicate to them that they are getting older, more responsible and mature and we value them in that process. Here at school, we have some things as simple as our senior students wearing a blazer. Some may see this as an added and unnecessary cost. I like to see it as an opportunity for us to signal to our children that they are growing and maturing and we value that. I challenge you this week, to have a look at your family life and culture and find, or put in place, some family traditions that signal to your children that we recognise both their childhood and their maturing and growth and celebrate it. Please enjoy reading Arne’s article below. I found it very thought provoking.

“Rites of Passage have always been a significant part of community life, until now. Each stage of a person's life was marked and celebrated including the significant step of moving into adulthood.

The shift from childhood to adulthood has always been marked by a rite of passage, which represents entry to the adult world and the rights that go with it. This new set of rights is also accompanied by a responsibility to serve and contribute to the community.

The loss of healthy rites of passage

For many young people Schoolies Week, the annual Year 12 endless party, is the only rite of passage they have. The loss of meaningful rites of passage is having disastrous consequences on young people.

Too often we see young men in their twenties and beyond acting like boys in constant need of acknowledgement from their peers, dodging responsibility and still seeking approval from their mother. Many young women are stuck in perpetual adolescence, more worried about how they look than how they can contribute to their communities.

Adults have a role to play

It's the role of adults to recognise and bring out children's strengths and natural gifts so they can contribute fully to their communities as adults. One of the most significant roles of the elderly is to care for and pass on wisdom to the young. Not surprisingly in the past it has been the elders who were responsible for overseeing the Rites of Passage and their timely delivery.

Rites of Passage are not supposed to be done in isolation. As a child becomes a young adult parents also need to take a step and move to the next stage in their lives.  Each new stage of development for a child or young person represents a new beginning for parents as well.

Unfortunately, elderhood is not highly coveted or respected in these modern times and there is a global marketing campaign telling us that youth is the desirable and only really acceptable life stage. When adulthood is not fully appreciated or understood, then it's little wonder that many young people are hanging on to their adolescence well into their twenties. Some never make the leap into adulthood.

Families and communities can rediscover the notion of rites of passage and begin to invent their own pathways to adulthood, complete with markers and appropriate recognition. They can put their own celebrations in place that mark significant ages, and the all-important transition to adulthood. These celebrations should include a bringing together of significant adults and a passing on of wisdom and stories from past generations to a young person. These rites of passage can be creative, must be inclusive and need to be appropriate to each family or community situation.” (Rubinstein, 2019)

Have a great week with your kids,

Mark B