Mistakes are OK 

Young children are often fearless in the face of mistakes – simply learning to walk or write is a process of repeated failing. As they grow, we find that often become less willing to take risks and try new things because of their fear on not getting right straight away. 

Below are some tips for helping our children overcome perfectionism and make friends with mistakes again.  

Whether it’s learning to ride a bike or writing a story, when a child shows reluctance to try before they start, ask them what they’re worried about. Give them the chance to share their fears and talk it through. Ask them, ‘What’s the worst thing that can happen?’ Putting words around their fear can help contextualise and minimise it, making ‘the scary thing’ seem smaller and easier to handle. 

Share your story. 

Younger children love to hear stories from their parents and trusted adults. Share a story with them of when you were scared, then tried, failed, and learned something from making a mistake. You can make it funny to lighten the load and help diffuse their worry. 

Resilience. 

Making mistakes and learning from mistakes helps children build resilience, which will stand them in good stead later in life. If they have tried, failed, and then tried again, it helps them build confidence to tackle bigger, more daunting tasks down the track.  

Reward the effort. 

If you have coached and coaxed your child into trying something new for the first time, or if they have worked hard to conquer their fear, then regardless of the outcome, let them know they are champs for trying. This way, the reward is linked, not to whether they failed or succeeded, but to the effort they made in the first place.  

Practice makes perfect. 

Perfect is of course not needed but practice is important. Give children plenty of opportunity to keep trying their chosen activity, whether they’ve taken up a new sport, musical instrument, or hobby, or whether they’re plucking up courage to make new friends at school.