The secret skills your child needs to succeed

Children with strong social skills have been shown to do better in life. The ability to navigate the world socially (what’s known as social and emotional intelligence or EQ) often matters more for lifetime success than how smart our kids are!
But what are social skills, and what developmental milestones should we expect our children to reach… and when?
Social Skills
Social skills are about so much more than the ability to talk and learn language. Communication is critical for social success and the psychological immunity it brings. But there is much more to real resilience and immunity. Skills like self-awareness, impulse control, emotional regulation, conflict resolution, and the ability to communicate clearly: these are qualities that lead to flourishing relationships, academic success, and most of what else predicts great outcomes in life.
How to help
Here are some simple tips and tricks to help your child share more easily, be more confident around other children or adults, or navigate those tricky social situations that we all struggle with.
Empathy, empathy, empathy: Research tells us pretty clearly that the more empathic we can be, the more likely it is that our children will be empathic.
Be a model: Our children watch and learn from us. How we speak to them (and others) and how we interact with them (and others) is the example they’ll follow as they grow. They’ll be terribly imperfect in their early years, but your modelling is important as an example.
Be an emotion scientist: If you can be an example with your own emotions, and then be curious about your children’s emotional world, they’ll learn that emotions are to be discovered, understood, accepted, and regulated. They’ll learn that if you’re ok with emotions, they can be too. Being understanding of emotions helps our children know that their feelings are a normal part of being human. (Note, this doesn’t mean letting kids have huge emotions whenever they feel like it. Instead, it means teaching them about their emotions and helping them learn to regulate them.)
Identify emotions in friends: When your child takes turns, point out how happy the other child is. Ask them, “How did Liam feel when you let him have a turn?” You could read a book and ask, “How does this person feel when that happens?” This teaches emotional intelligence and empathy quickly and effectively. Start as early as you can.