Helping children in the Red Zone

As part of the Zones of Regulation framework, which we have been exploring over the last few weeks, extremenly heightened states of alertness or intense emotions are called ‘The Red Zone’.

Often, we could view Red Zone behaviours as being ‘out of control’. These behaviours include:

• Anger and rage
• Hands on” physical reactions
• Terror
• Other extreme feelings
• Feeling “ready to explode”
• Devastation

When a child is in the Red Zone, the aim is to help them regulate their emotional state to a point where they can think clearly, make good decisions and choose appropriate behaviour. The aim is NOT to convince them that how they feel is wrong, inaccurate or inappropriate, but rather to process their feelings in helpful ways.

Below are some ideas to help you support your child when they are in the Red Zone:

Stay Calm: When your child is in the Red Zone, it's important for you to stay calm. Your calm presence can help them feel more secure and supported, even when they're upset.

Validate Feelings: Let your child know that their feelings are okay and normal. Use phrases like "I understand you're feeling upset" or "It's okay to feel angry sometimes."

Offer Breathing Exercises: Teach your child simple breathing techniques, like taking deep breaths or counting slowly, to help them calm down and regain control over their emotions.

Create a Safe Space: Designate a quiet and comfortable spot where your child can go to when they're feeling overwhelmed. This can be a place for them to relax and regain their composure.

Use Positive Distractions: Engage your child in activities they enjoy and that can help shift their focus away from the intense emotions. This could include drawing, listening to music, reading a book, or going for a walk.

Introduce heavy work: Activities that involve lifting, pushing or pulling help the body regulate from high emotional states. This can include things like push ups, filling and pushing a laundry basket, playing tug-of-war, stretching material, carrying a heavy backpack and sweeping.

Remember, every child is different, so it's important to try different techniques and see what works best for your child when they're in the Red Zone. The goal is to support them in managing their emotions in a healthy way.