As we draw towards the end of the first half of the year, (remember June 30^th is the last day for students this term) I have been reflecting on what it takes for us to be successful in guiding and developing our children through their life journeys.

It just so happened that I was reading a book that touched on this very topic. It grabbed my attention because it rang true with my teaching experience. I noted, particularly in teaching senior high school, that the brightest kids didn’t necessarily achieve the most outstanding results or go on to reach their considerable potential.

So what are some things we can help children develop that stands them in good stead to reach their potential.  I offer you two things. Relationships and perseverance (grit).

I have written often about the importance of relationships, so today I would like to focus a little on perseverance. I found this little section of a book by Adam Grant interesting around how we have traditionally looked at finding talented people and developing them, and what more recent research is telling us. After that, I will share some practical tips from a parenting educator on how to develop grit and perseverance in our kids.

Traditionally, “. . . experts looked for people with the right raw abilities and then sought to motivate them. If you want to find people who can dunk like Michael Jordan or play piano like Beethoven, it's only natural to start by screening candidates for leaping ability and an ear for music. But in recent years, psychologists have come to believe that this approach may be backward. In the 1960s, a pioneering psychologist named Raymond Cattell developed an investment theory of intelligence. He proposed that interest is what drives people to invest their time and energy in developing particular skills and basis of knowledge. Today we have compelling evidence that interest precedes the development of talent. It turns out that motivation is the reason that people develop talent in the first place. In the 1980s, the psychologist Benjamin Bloom led a landmark study of world class musicians, scientists and athletes. Blooms team interviewed 21 concert pianists who were finalists in major international competitions. When the researchers began to dig into the eminent pianists early experiences with music, they discovered an unexpected absence of raw talent. The study showed that early on, most of the star pianists seemed special only when comparing one child with others in the family or neighbourhood. They didn't stand out on a local, regional or national level and they didn't win any early competitions. 

When Bloom’s team interviewed the world class pianists and their parents, they stumbled upon another surprise. The pianists didn't start out learning from piano teachers who were experts. They typically took their first piano lessons with a teacher who lived nearby in their neighbourhoods. In the talent code, Daniel Coyle writes that from a scientific perspective, it was as if the researchers had traced the lineage of the world's most beautiful swans back to a scruffy flock of barnyard chickens. Over time, even without an expert teacher at the outset, the pianists managed to become the best musicians in the world. The pianists gained their advantage by practising many more hours than their peers. . .. When the pianists and their parents talked about their first piano teachers, they consistently focused on one theme. The teachers were caring, kind and patient. The pianists looked forward to piano lessons because their first teachers made music interesting and fun. . ..  The teachers looked for ways to make piano lessons enjoyable, which served as an early catalyst for the intense practise necessary to develop expertise. Exploring possibilities and engaging in a wide variety of musical activities took precedence over factors such as right or wrong or good or bad.

The same patterns emerged for world class tennis players. When Bloom’s team interviewed 18 American tennis players who've been ranked in the top ten in the world, they found that although their first coaches were not exceptional coaches, they tended to be very good with young children. What this first coach provided was motivation for the child to become interested in tennis and to spend time practising. . . . The top ranked tennis players tended to have a first coach who took a special interest in the tennis player, Bloom’s team notes, usually because he perceived the player as being motivated and willing to work hard rather than because of any special physical abilities . . . Focus and drive achieve higher performance. Persistence is incredibly important . . . “ (Grant, 2013)

“Part of a parent’s job is to help their children develop the traits that will help them to be successful. You can use your influence as your children’s most important teacher to help them acquire the important trait of perseverance.

• When you see your children persisting with a difficult task or following through with an assignment, even when they would have preferred doing something else, PRAISE them for their effort. PRAISE their effort, not just the finished product.
• Tell your child why the particular task, job, chore, assignment, etc. is important.
• Let your children know you count on them to do what they say they will do.
• Model perseverance and point it out to your children when you are persistent. Model an optimistic attitude toward managing challenges.
• Use everyday situations to highlight examples of perseverance: stories on the news, television, in books, famous people your children may admire.
• Help your children to set goals and to break larger tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces so that they do not get overwhelmed. Praise each successful step along the way toward reaching the final goal.
• Let them know it is alright to make mistakes and that mistakes are for learning. They can persevere after making a mistake, using what they learned to help them move forward.
• Re-frame difficult tasks as positive challenges worth mastering.” (Krisbergh, accessed 2023)

Have a great week with our kids,

Mark B

James 1:2,3 “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.

You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.”