Talking about emotions

Did you know that there are about 34,000 different human emotions?

Some days, we and our kids seem to feel them all.

Being able to recognise emotions is important. Our kids don’t need to be able to name all 34,000 different, but…

Kids who are able to identify what they’re feeling more regularly:

- Display fewer behaviour problems
- Do better in school
- Are more empathetic and supportive of others
- Develop healthy copy skills and resilience
- Have a positive self image
- Have positive and stable relationships with others
- Better mental health

Below are two examples of an emotion wheel, or feelings wheel, that you might like to use with your children at home. The first is designed for younger children, and builds on the concept of Zones of Regulation; while the second can be useful for older children, teens and adults alike.

Using and referring to these tools regularly assists with emotional regulation – which in simple terms means calming down and coping with your emotions in an appropriate way (it is mostly about getting back in the green zone – but you don’t always have to be in the green zone, other zones may be appropriate in certain situations).

Here's a few ideas to get started on using these tools:

1. Practice often – Use the wheel to discuss the highs and lows of each persons day at the family dinner table in the car. When adults participate in models appropriate ways to process and communicate emotions.

2. Use it before the breakdown – If you get the sense that your child, or someone else is sensitive or on edge, using the wheel to help them identify the emotions they are feeling can help prevent explosions. As they say ‘Emotions demand to be felt. You can choose when to take care of them, or they will choose for you.’

3. Use it during a shutdown – if your child seems more isolated or quiet, referencing the feelings wheel can help you check in and let them see what they may be experiencing even if they don’t realise it.

4. Empathise - By being specific in naming and using our emotions we can better identify shared experiences that will help us understand what each other is feeling.

How could using an emotion wheel help your family?