Wellbeing
The No. 1 skill parents need to teach their children
How ‘indistractable’ are you?
That is – how good are you at controlling your levels of distraction? And, what about your kids?
According to some experts, it’s the most important skill for the 21st century – and it’s something incredibly difficult to teach.
Doing so requires empowering kids with the autonomy of their own time, a scary prospect for many of us.
‘Parents need to understand that it’s okay to put their kids in charge, because it’s only when they learn to practice monitoring their own behaviour that they learn how to manage their own time and attention,’ writes Stamford Psychology expert, Nir Eyal.
Eyal’s recent article Stanford psychology expert: This is the No. 1 skill parents need to teach their kids—but most don’t talks a lot about screens, but it is about more than just screen time, but rather about providing a life-long, and potentially life-defining skill for our children.
Here are some of the lessons we can help our kids learn and ultimately, become indistractable:
- Time is valuable and there is always an opportunity cost: Spending too much time with apps and videos (or anything else for that matter) means less time to play with friends at the park, go for a walk or simply be with mum and dad.
- Consumer skepticism is healthy: It’s important our kids understand the motives of the gaming companies – they profit from our time and attention. Even young children can see this isn’t a good thing and it helps them make decisions about their time.
- Kids need sufficient amounts of autonomy: Armed with the information above, kids need the chance exercise their abilities, such as choosing how much screen or tech time is reasonable. They are then responsible to manage this themselves (such as using kitchen timers)– and often the results are surprisingly positive.
- Prevent distraction with ‘effort pacts’: The arrangement your kids make are with themselves – it’s not mum or dad who has to be the bad guy. It’s their own rules and equipment telling them time is up..
‘One thing is for certain: Technology is becoming more pervasive and persuasive. While it’s important our kids are aware that products are designed to be highly engaging, we also need to reinforce their belief in their own power to overcome distraction. It’s their responsibility — as well as their right — to use their time wisely,' Eyal says.