I really struggle with just being still. I know it is something I need to work on. I have an app on my phone called “pause”, where I am supposed to pause, listen and contemplate some Bible verses and thoughts. There are days when I have to stop myself from doing several other things at the same time as pausing – ironic, hey. It may come from my spiritual heritage of Protestantism and its work ethic. The ability to enjoy stillness and down time is an important thing for adults, as well as children. We have a great opportunity in a couple of weeks when school holidays come around, and the hustle and bustle of life may slow slightly, to take time to help our kids to enjoy some down time. It might be a good opportunity to set it up a situation that allows your kids, and yourself, to just take the pressure off things a little and be relaxed and still. These are important, but hard skills to learn that will come in handy for the rest of their/our lives. Below are some suggestions about why down-time is important and how it might happen. I hope you find it helpful.

“If your teenage children live wound-up, highly scheduled lives then they need to rediscover the lost art of down-time.

Down-time is like mucking around except that it’s passive. It’s about kids relaxing, doing whatever it is they feel like doing – whether that’s watching a screen, hanging around with siblings or mates, reading a book or simply daydreaming.

There are three compelling reasons to allow kids down-time:

It’s great for mental health. Hard-driven kids need some time to rest their brains. The thinking wheels can’t keep spinning all the time.

It builds relationships. You’ve got to be close to someone to feel comfortable down-time with them. A household needs to be relaxed and free from tension for down-time to happen.

It feels good, which is good reason to do something.

The art of down-time comes with age

Toddlers are too active for down-time. Their physiology ensures that when they have some free time they’ll generally keep moving and exploring.

Kids in primary school start to learn the value of down-time. They generally spend down-time on their own or by mucking around with their friends.

Teenagers are natural down-timers. They do it without trying. Teens take up a lot of space during down-time at home, tending to sprawl out and fill living rooms. Many don’t mind down-time with their parents if their friends don’t see them.

Many parents feel uncomfortable when their kids spend too long in down-time. Busyness is seen as a virtue. Sure, it’s good for our kids to be occupied a lot of the time, but active lives need to be balanced with opportunities for inactivity.

Don’t confuse down-time with brooding

Brooding, like ruminating, involves a young person repeatedly visiting their thoughts, going over past mistakes, or worrying about the future. Down-time is different as it enables a young person to chill out and relax.

Down-time is a lifetime mental health, relationship-building, and happiness habit. It’s something to be encouraged, rather than clamped down.” (Grose, 2021)

Have a great week with your kids,

Mark B

“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46 : 10